What kind of person are you? Optimistic? Pessimistic? Go with the flow?
I’ve always been the type of person to be over the top joyful, loud, active, and CRAZY. For the last four months, though, I’ve been really “normal”. I’ve also met a lot of new friends in these past four months, people who I wanted to know the real me. I would beat myself up to put on my usual big smile and super outgoing personality just so they really got a taste of Lolo (maybe you can relate). I know everyone loves reading someone’s vulnerability so I am here to give it to you. These past four months I have been really inconsistent with my emotions and state of mind. The first month of the four was awful, the second month was honestly amazing, and now I have been in this deep pit of hopelessness and random bursts of crying.
I was reminded of these verses in Ecclesiastes 3, “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven…a time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.”
Then, I cross-referenced that with the 30th chapter of my favorite book lately, Psalm, “Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning.”
Scripture continues to talk about how God will turn morning into joyful dancing and singing praises to Him. I thought about that.
“That I might sing praises to you and not be silent.” Psalm 30:12
That’s so powerful. Right now, I am sad and see no hope for feeling better. Then, I think of all the times that I praise His name in musical worship and I realize that I sing praises to Him for restoring me from far worse pain all the time.
This chapter is the one that helped me right now particularly; it rests at the beginning of Deuteronomy 30(:4-6), “Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the Lord your God will gather you and bring you back. He will bring you to the land that belonged to your ancestors, and you will take possession of it. He will make you more prosperous and numerous than your ancestors. The Lord your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live.”
That was a lot so let me explain how it applies, starting at verse 4. I feel very distant (“banished to the most distant land”) from my usual self and even the joy and positivity that God gives me and in THAT loss is where God will bring me back (“there God will gather you and bring you back”). How? “God is near to the brokenhearted” Psalm 34:18. He will not only restore me and return me to my joy but He will also make me even better than before (“He will make you more prosperous and numerous”). The last verse has a detail so important, “circumcise your heart”. To have someone’s heart circumcised is to have it worked on by the Holy Spirit. To circumcise is to cut; cut out the sexual desires that your heart carries, the lust, the desires of the flesh. Cut out all of that, and you will love God with “all your heart and with all your soul, and live.”
This chapter in Deuteronomy is called “Prosperity After Turning to the Lord”. Prosperity in other words is “success.”
I want you to know that I understand not feeling better despite all of the scripture giving you reasons to. God knows that we sometimes are sad for no reason and that we are sometimes sad for a reason that occurred months ago. I hope that you can learn to just let yourself feel sad if you are sad. Feel that feeling and seek Him in it through prayer and conversation. I am not telling you to stop being sad, I am telling you why you can have hope because after turning to the Lord, there is a success. And remember, there will come a day when God will come down, and “He will wipe away every tear from (your) eyes, and death will not exist anymore--or mourning, or crying, or pain.”Revelation 21:4. THAT’S scripture.
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