Last night was one of those nights where I had to fall into the Lord's grace. I've been walking in this season of feeling the bad kind of unworthy. Not the kind that makes me fall into the Lord's arms out of awe but the one that makes me question my salvation and feel like it’s the old testament all over again and I'm saved by works.
Then I had a crazy revelation. It sounds basic but hear me out.
God chose you knowing what you would do. Everything. Every action, every sin. He said “I give you the option of secured salvation the moment you accept me and i offer that knowing every sin you will commit after you accept.” This also hits heavy on Alex and I. Through all the prayer, we have (as far as we can tell) gotten a yes from God for our relationship. And what did He know and consider when He gave that yes to us? Every time we would disobey His will. Every time we would ever fight. Everything.
And this is where it really hit…
I’ve been living as if God wakes up everyday and is like “I choose her today”. As if when He sees me sin, He has to think about it, and then goes “Yeah, I still choose her”. But no, God already chose me. Before all of that. He chose me ONE day for EVERY day. He doesn’t have to rethink. He never had to think again.
That’s not my excuse to sin! My salvation is in the fact that I have faith in Jesus and my faith is what forms my life around Him. Therefore, it is my intention to live a life that shows that I have faith in Jesus’ will over my own. It is my overall intention for my life to live sinless but wow, God chose me while I was still a sinner. He demands that I “go and sin no more” but knows I will. And He still chose me. Grace, grace, grace.
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