There’s a song by MercyMe that has been laid on my heart as I open my computer to write this. It goes like “They say sometimes you win some, Sometimes you lose some, And right now, Right now I'm losing bad. I've stood on this stage, Night after night, Reminding the broken, It'll be alright. But right now, Oh right now I just can't. It's easy to sing, When there's nothing to bring me down, But what will I say, When I'm held to the flame, Like I am right now.” Lately, a lot of change has entered my life. A lot of unexpected and sudden changes. Having a blog solely about positivity in a time where I am the least positive, is a lot of pressure. I have been a positive person my entire life but I find myself so drained right now. How can we be positive when it just feels impossible? How can you find the positive when you just don't see it?
I called my friend Ian the other day and he said to me, “sometimes you just need to take it day by day. In the morning, ask yourself what you are going to do today to make you feel better. Then do it. Don't rush into healing.” Don't rush into healing… wow, did I need to hear that! I am the type of person to just shut down in hard times and instantly try to forget and move on. I look for every possible way to move on as soon as possible, without turning to the world. I think “well if I’m not using drugs to feel better then I’m doing it the Godly way.” However, sometimes the Godly way is to just sit still and listen. Hear the Holy Spirit. How can we hear God's voice if we are so busy trying to think of ways to heal from our own voice? Those are solutions that come from our own understanding. So, what I did with that advice was not being so quick to shut out everything that I was struggling with and deleting it from my life. But to just leave it untouched and talk to God about it. Oftentimes healing IS acknowledging the situation and not just pushing it into the past.
I have been going to the beach every morning and having a long and INTENTIONAL bible study. It's important to be intentional with what we study in the bible- not just merely opening it up. I have started my day off with peace by doing this. Not everyone has a beach 5 minutes away from them, I get that! Find a quiet and safe place, someplace peaceful. No, I do not feel completely healed after these two hours with God. I wish. But, it's a process. Day by day one.
I may even revisit that safe place at night. Nighttime is when the thoughts run in so I try to go to bed with thoughts of my bible study. Day by day, I heal. The next verses in this song read, “I know You're able, And I know You can, Save through the fire, With your mighty hand. But even if You don't, My hope is You alone.” Worshipping God and realizing that He is not the author of evil, REALLY helps in hard times. DURING those hard times. Not just when He makes it a little better for you or when you are at church. I mean when you are having a breakdown, turn on your music or however you worship God and sing His praises knowing He is good. It's a mindset shift. Use that mindset and apply it day by day. Just calm down, relax, and take it day by day.
Comments