If you guys have read the blog, “Take it Day by Day”, you know that in my recent struggle, I felt it was called upon me to just sit still and leave the matter untouched. Sometimes the first thing we want to do when something doesn’t go our way or when we are going through a battle is to push it aside. Forgive and forget, right? I am REALLY good at that. however, sometimes God just wants us to leave the matter untouched and let Him speak to you about it first.
So, after writing that blog my parents came into town. They brought with them a package I had been waiting for. it’s just a simple brand deal that I have with a company that designs planner notebooks. they let me design the entire planner myself, including the cover. I remember just googling “Christian quotes and bible verses” at work and picking one that I thought was cute and simple.
I went into my room to open this package after a long, and honestly, heartbreaking few days. I was excited to just receive a “gift”.
I looked at the cover of this planner and it read,
“Sit still my daughter, until you know how the matter will fall. Ruth 3:18”.
Yeah… Seriously…
I just sat there and was like WOW, okay God. I opened up my bible and I STUDIED Ruth. I took notes and even drove to the store and bought a book containing a few chapters dedicated to the book of Ruth. I am familiar with Ruth but I wanted to know more about this verse specifically. So, the summary of my studies is, Ruth followed Naomi (her mother-in-law) from Moab all the way to Judah. Ruth went with her because Naomi had just lost her husband and sons (Ruth’s husband) so she wanted to keep her company.
Even when given the chance, Ruth refused to leave Naomi’s side. You may know the famous verse,
“Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. Wherever you go, I will go; Wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. Wherever you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us.” Ruth 1:16-17
This was Ruth reassuring Naomi. Now that I am writing that, I feel convicted. I’m imagining myself saying those words to God, “May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us.” Are you allowing people to separate you and God? Are you allowing THINGS to separate you and God? What could that be for you? Well, what separates us from God? SIN. what is the sin separating you from God?
After Ruth and Naomi had gathered a plan to get Ruth a new husband, there was some doubt that the plan was working. THAT is when Naomi said to Ruth,
“Sit still my daughter, until you know how the matter will fall.”
Are things looking to not go your way? Is your plan not exactly looking hopeful? Naomi does NOT say,
“Sit still my daughter, you will see that the matter will fall our way.”
She’s NOT telling Ruth to be patient because she will marry this boy.
She’s just simply saying, “wait until you see HOW the matter will fall.”
Whether it’s the way you want or not, do not doubt it until you see how it goes. It may be better. Actually, it WILL be better. Whether it’s what you want or not or whether it is “good” or not, it is ultimately BETTER. Remember the blog, “There Is More For You”? Remember my tattoo?! He is whispering to you, “I know” “I see your pain” “I know you’re hurting”
“There is more for you, sit still my daughter”.
Here is a piece I jotted down in five minutes about this moment for a homework assignment for writing:
The Waves
Months ago, God, you asked me at dawn to sit on the beach. I listened -of course I did- filled with desperation. My feet brushed against the warm sand and my hair blew in the humid air. My hands reached for my notebook where I write to you searching for discernment.
The waves hitting the shore, in sound but not in sight. The darkness taking over and leaving me with only its sound. Oh, what peace, only noise, no sight of where that noise is coming from. Discernment. Searching for discernment, it feels like those hidden waves that produce unseen noise. You held me as I wept. Wondering if he was going to leave me, thinking that was the end of it if he did. We sat there together, God. You held me as I told you that you weren’t enough. What love and comfort I don’t deserve.
“Sit still my daughter, until you see how the matter will fall”, you told me.
That verse from Ruth. How perfect timing to put that on my heart.
“What now?” I asked.
“Just sit still and weep.” I heard you say.
“As loud as the waves and with the uncertainty that the darkness brings.”
Just sit here and weep. I looked to the waves and saw a puddle of all the tears God had wept for me. Maybe even the tears he wept as I told him in other words that he was not enough. He doesn’t need me but he wants me. Here I am weeping over a boy who doesn’t need me nor want me and here there is, a God weeping for His daughter who he doesn’t need but so desperately wants. The waves not reaching me. Me, not seeing the puddle of tears I was causing.
“I’m sorry, God. I’m sorry waves. One day you will reach my sight and I will see the tears I have caused.” For now, I will sit still and weep in Your presence.
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